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Obsess, Happily

I'm close to realizing a dream. The accomplishment of a goal, actually. Something I dreamed up about 15 years ago after I had soloed four of the 11 Lower 48 state highpoints over 10,000 feet elevation. I figured, four down, why not solo all 11? At the time, it seemed an elusive quest, one that instilled in me a good deal of fear and doubt. And thrill. And excitement. And desire. It turned into an obsession.

I'm down to obsessing on the final summit, California's Mt. Whitney, the highest of the 11 but certainly not the most difficult on the list. Ten down. My goal is within reach. But when I reach it, what then? Will the summit of Mt. Whitney deliver me to something more than a pile of rocks? Will I feel a sense of heightened satisfaction in the accomplishment, a gratification that embeds itself into my soul so deep that I can finally relax? Or will I feel like I stepped through the end gate into a place of So What? Now What? Elation or deflation, what will greet me at the summit? We'll see . . ..

Knowing me, I'll probably be pride-filled for a good long time. I suspect the final steps will deliver great satisfaction and a life-affirming zinger, honoring me with an internal medal I'll wear within me for the rest of my days. But, we'll see. What we won't see is me feeling deflated by the end of the journey. I won't fall into despair and call it quits. I won't - not for anything. Obsession or not, this 11-summit quest is not that big of a deal. But the truth is, I get more from the doing than the having done. You could say I'm in love with the side of adventure that is defined by unknown outcomes (although good outcomes are always nice).

But I'm not everybody. Some people do become emotionally attached to outcomes. This March issue has drawn me to consider not only the mental outcome of my pending accomplishment but also how and where the outdoors can ravage the mind. One of our more serious pieces probes the connection between the outdoors and suicide? Andrew Gulliford looks for an answer in "The Wilderness Within," pg. 20. He's compelled to investigate this mystery, unfortunately after losing one of his closest friends, an outdoorsman, to suicide. He writes that nine of the 11 leading states for suicide are in the West.

While none of it is as poignant as Andrew's story, we have a lot more for you in this issue. It's March, but we're not done with skiing. Nathan Rice and Anna Lauer Roy take us on ski trips, one to investigate Native American ruins and the other through a big portion of the Weminuch Wilderness. Done with snow? Then follow Patricia Poulin to Jordan Hot Springs in New Mexico's Gila Wilderness and Amy Maestas to a list of 24 music festivals in the Southwest.

Whatever you do, enjoy yourself. Make happiness your obsession.