Email this article
Regaining Paradise Lost
If adventure is where you find it, being a parent brings it home.
BK (Before Kids), my husband and I were envelope-pushing adventurers. Life was lived raw and ragged. We barreled down bike trails in Moab, rode horses through the jungles of Guatemala and dove from waterfalls in Costa Rica. We were not intending to cliff dive with our child in a baby sling, but we saw parenthood as bringing more adventures - not, as my Hogsback friend seemed to suggest, placing them in a 20-year deferment. We knew our lives would be different, but we thought we could retain the spirit of our lifestyle. If not hitchhiking through remote Mexico, perhaps hiking in Yosemite?
As a compulsive researcher, I began motherhood driven to figure out this parenting-and-outdoors thing. But the real teacher is trial-and-error. Early lessons yielded the incalculable value of persistence and adaptation. Ergo, if the baby is vomiting and showing a fiery rash soon into a trip - smile! - you are either heading home or getting within range to phone your pediatrician.
We have nixed backpacking, for now. We even gave up on tent camping after several excruciatingly sleepless attempts. We researched vans and pull-type campers, and settled on a 10-foot camper that we remodeled ourselves with a vintage sailboat theme. It is small but has a stove, a closet and a bed. We love its simplicity! We arrive, set up our chairs and as a family start hunting bugs around the campsite. At day's end, an MP3 plays soft music and Nila sleeps as though she is snuggled into her own bed. Daddy and Mommy enjoy a glass of wine in fire light and triumphantly watch the moon rise.
We have also learned that getting outside with a child begins inside. Books and websites inspire us with ideas for activities that capture a child's imagination. Catch-and-release bug hunting, building mud houses and rock-hucking into streams are current favorites. Some offer general outdoor tips, which are perhaps commonplace to avid campers. But as sleep deprivation can turn common sense on its head, the tips can help.
We're still freedom-loving envelope pushers. Weekly, we each get out for our own short adventures. As a family, we hike, play in creeks and travel to national parks. We enjoyed a springtime hike together in Yosemite. Obviously, our adventures are nowhere near the level we enjoyed BK.
But I'm not complaining. With the birth of Nila, my husband and I have discovered more joy and excitement in each other than we ever found on any adventure. And we do still get out. The adventures may be on a smaller scale but of much more depth! A night in the woods with a vomiting toddler can summon the deepest of emotions - fear, anger, worry, love - all at once or each in turn. When it's over, we find awe of our own resilience.
After one notably exhausting day of toddler wrangling, my husband asked me about the joys in my life. Answers came quickly: Nila and I blowing raspberries on each other's tummies as we play on a blanket under a canopy of trees. He and I whispering and giggling into our pillows, trying not to wake Nila. From her carrier on my back, Nila chattering excitedly as she points out the miracles she sees along a hike. Each, a priceless joy we share as a family.
If ever again I run into my cross Hogsback friend, I hope she sees me on a trail with my daughter smiling from her carrier. What might she say? Would she applaud? Or would she pass silently, contemplating her perspective or smugly sticking to it? I do know, however, that the adventure of parenting my daughter is in my system to stay. I wouldn't want to miss it for the world.
Donna Stewart is a writer living in Durango, Colo. Whether it's across the desert, inside herself or within the page, she loves to explore and learn.
Post a comment
www.insideoutsidemag.com doesn't necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post.
Read our full policy.